Friday, June 29, 2012

Mirror Mirror (Family Comedy 2012)

One of these days I'll have to stop watching everything that comes to me free just because there are too many that suck even before I start. This movie was definitely one of those. It actually annoyed me how lame it was, but I willed myself to finish it. They purposely made the movie on a set so you could totally tell it was fake, like a theater production. Acting and dialog was "off" and yeah the whole thing felt way too artificial. This isn't a real was a HS production shot with a more expensive camera.
Rating - D

Sunday, June 24, 2012

21 Jump Street (Comedy 2012)

Well I got to admit that this movie looked like shit from the previews, but the beginning was actually really funny. It had that same type of crude humor which many comedies have these days.

As stated, the first section was funny and there were spatterings of humor throughout it, but yeah it did die off around 40% into it. I don't see how writers can fuck up like that...this certainly isn't the first time I've seen this happen.
Rating - B

Wrath of the Titans (Fantasy Action 2012)

Yeah they really shouldn't have made this movie. The first one was at least mildly entertaining...this one was not.

This film felt like the leftovers from a mixing bowl when making don't have enough material to form it into a real cookie but there is enough to eat with a spoon.

There really was no story, the actors were just thrown together, and yeah the special effects artists just went to town in trying to make something out of nothing. Let's just try to make a very large baddie so we don't have to put much detail into anything.
Rating - D

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Last Airbender (Family Adventure 2010)

This movie was all about overacting, crappy acting, and horrible writing. I never watched the Anime show, but I heard it was miles better than this. It was definitely one of those that shouldn't have been made.

Besides the obvious negs, the movie had Caucasians where Asians should've been (Eskimo people) and a bunch of Indian bad guys? I don't remember people mentioning that in the cartoon...who was responsible for personnel? Man, I would be ashamed if I was ever even mildly associated with this film.

Update: Holy shit, M. Night Shyamalan written and directed it, who would've guessed. Damn that's funny yet it makes perfect sense! I swear he must've stolen the script for The Sixth Sense because he has never been able to reproduce anything close.
Rating - F

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Pharos Objective by David Sakmyster (Book 2010

For a while there I was looking for more adventure books and Amazon's auto-suggestion area recommended this one. Although it was accurate in its genre, the book was nowhere as good as others in the same field.

The main plot of this one was good as it had ample amounts of historical background. The setting also changed quite a bit which kept it interesting. That is all I can say for the positives. The negatives come in 3s and all of this is highly subjective.

First of all I don't like when people are tricked. In this book, the main character is getting tricked throughout most of it and I just plain don't like it. In the end everything works itself out of course, just like any good story should, but for some reason this just annoyed me.

Secondly the story, albeit detailed, dragged on. The main focus of the whole book was to solve the mystery within the lost Lighthouse/Library of Alexandria, but man did it take forever to get to the end. It was as if we were watching the Last Crusade and seeing Indi in the desert temple getting stumped on various traps and riddles and having to retreat, regroup, and return 4+ times. That would've made for a very choppy story and it sure did in this book.

The last issue I had was with the characters. I just didn't like any of them, their decisions, or their personalities. Some were too naive, some were too stupid, and the main character, who is supposed to be some intelligent professor-type, seemed very weak. I honestly didn't care about any of them...they were just a way for me to get to the end of the story.
Rating - Mid

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Youth in Revolt (Comedy 2009)

Yeah so I can't really watch these teen movies anymore. The premise just seems so stupid now that I'm older. Yeah this one is about a dork who likes some chick, kinda hooks up during the summer, and still tries to get with her after he moves away.

What struck me as weird was the way this kid talked. I mean it's different and all but isn't it stupid to have the main character talk all funny? Like every single line was thought up by a room full of artsy writers who wanted to be quirky yet sound highly intellegent at the same time. Odd.

Anyway there were a few scenes that were chuckle-worthy but mostly it was blah.
Rating - C

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Diablo 3 (3rd Person Fantasy RPG PC Game 2012)

Wow it's sad to say but I really do think that my PC Gaming days are coming to a slow end. I still remember when the original Diablo got released and I rushed to the mall to pick up my copy. I actually found myself in a dork race through the parking lot with another unknown gamer as we power-walked to the front door. Those were definitely the glory days of gaming. Sadly that feeling is long gone; it just isn't as fun anymore.

But ignoring my personal issues, Blizzard did a great job in creating a very polished fantasy adventure with this one, but it just wasn't as enjoyable as the originals were. In old school RPGs you totally felt like you were in the world and personally invested, but in this one I was just clicking away with no care in the world. It was a very artificial feeling, but yeah it's a game right?

Gameplay was great though...everything was programmed in a way to enhance and speed up the process of killing mobs, getting back to town, selling, joining others' games, going to the AH to sell and buy stuff, then getting back into gaming. Never do you have to back-track and create a new character since you can have 8 of the same characters with the same names. Free re-specing as well. Love that. You can also share items between characters like in Torchlight. Chatting and many other aspects of the game are just like WoW...again they took what they know that works and integrated it into a more fun gaming experience.

Yesterday they turned on the real-money auction house. This is where you can sell your virtual items and get real money. Yeah you have a choice of either getting 30%+ of the sale price nabbed away before it can reach your Paypal account or you can leave it locked within but yeah money is still money. I'm sure they'll just tweak with the game like crazy to make it super hard to get any valuable drops.

So yeah I beat it on Normal mode which was way too easy...but my personality is the type to not replay games, especially single player ones. I'm finding 2nd round way too boring and tedious. They made the mobs harder and they scaled the drops up a bit...that's it. Playing with peeps you know makes it better, but it's overall the same click-fest. Unfortunately it's not enough to keep me going.
Rating - High

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Safe House (Action 2012)

This one is another forgettable action movie. It had your average cookie-cutter plot consisting of suspense, espionage, and guns blazing. I swear the same story has been done over and over again...sometimes even 3-4 times per year. Either way, action was good, acting was good, and boy was it 100% predictable as well.
Rating - C

Red Tails (Action 2012)

Holy shit, you want to see a crappy movie? Look no further. This one was pretty fucking bad. Everything was hyper-corney, with the dialog being very artificial and written by a 5th grader. Action was not impressive at all. This one isn't even worth watching for free.
Rating - D

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Prometheus (Sci-Fi Action Horror 2012)

So I managed to drag the wife to go see this one. Now there is a new genre that is off the table of "let's see together" films...sigh. Anyway this movie was not necessarily a prequel unless I can figure out the dates that the original Alien movie were supposed to take place. It kinda was its own story in the same universe.

All special effects were terrific as was the suspenseful music. Plot was OK but it built up to a less than impressive middle portion. It gained more traction towards the end, but not by much. The main characters were idiots considering that they were all supposed to be doctors or PhDs of some sort. The biology dude was a fucking idiot lol.

It's hard to rate this one because it really didn't live up to the hype. There were a bunch of unanswered questions and many parts of the film were left up for debate. This one is a  good conversation piece for sure, but yeah I want more from a movie. Overall it was fair, but I can't say is was solid. Too many major character flaws and plot holes with a totally rushed center.
Rating - B

Thursday, June 07, 2012

The Darkest Hour (Action 2011)

Yeah this one sucked pretty bad. A few Americans are stuck in Moscow with a Brit as they try to evade these invading electrical aliens that wipe out most peeps during the initial attack.

Everything about this movie sucked. Acting, writing, and plot were all horrible. The fact that we're even following around surviving American tourists = lame. Where are the Russians? The lucky ones can't possibly be only foreigners...

Yeah one main character played by Emile Hirsch was so damn annoying...he is a prime example of a guy who the aliens should've taken out. Anyway, oh so not worth it. Not even a Redbox rental.
Rating - D

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Coriolanus (Drama 2011)

So the trailer for this one was a total misrepresentation of what the movie actually was. What I'm pointing to is that all of the dialogue is spoken in Shakespearean English. I'm sure there is a real word for this, but for all of us commoners, it means it's just like sitting through English class in HS.

There was one pretty good gunfight scene and the rest of it was just a lot of talking. I probably only truly understood 40% of what was going on verbally and had to rely on facial expressions and body language to infer the rest...very annoying. The story at the end was stupid and the main character turned into a pussy. The only positive thing in the film was that it showed how much of a badass Ralph Fiennes is as an actor. He did an awesome acting job...too bad the rest of the movie was so disappointing and dull.
Rating - C

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Snow White and the Huntsman (Action Adventure 2012)

Damn, after all these years Kristen Stewart has still not learned how to close her damn mouth. I find it so annoying that in almost every scene she's in, all you see are her two fat front rabbit teeth.

This movie had some pluses, like the visuals and the convincing atmospheric feeling, but the plot was choppy and the story was very lite. It had a lot of potential for character and story building but the director decided to make it into a very superficial film.

Charlize was an absolute nutter in the movie, but all she really did was yell a lot. Still, a testament to her acting skills, but the script still sucked.

The fighting scenes were cool as was the music during the battle sections but yeah too bad the rest of it was slow-going and dull. I left this movie not impressed...not one bit.
Rating - C