Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Gears of War (3rd Person Action PC Game 2007)

You know what? I don't like losing. Actually, I despise losing. That's why I don't play dumb sports like basketball or baseball, because I suck at them and I know it. But one thing I don't suck at are computer games, so it pisses me off when I play something that is designed to only frustrate and waste time. Why would the proud makers of this jewel make the game play so lame and tedious? Because they are tards; tards that have no sense of what is fun and what a good game is all about.

I'm usually not a fan of ports just because they always seem like a lamer version of the original, even though the game is more/less the same. Since this was one of the flagship games for the Xbox 360, I thought it would be at least O.K., but of course I was wrong.

The first few levels were fun, but then I began to realize that it was all the same. Every level was just a tweaked version of the one before; very repetitive and very boring. There were only two positive things about this game: the blood and the dialogue. Almost everything else sucked, such as the guns, mobs, boss fights, game play, levels, teammates whose AI was dumber than shit, and of course the ultra-hard sections that were made specifically to have you die 50+ times in a row. I can appreciate difficult levels, but not ones that have so many cards stacked against you. I suppose some would call overcoming these obstacles "skill", but I certainly don't.

So today, for the first time since I played my old school Nintendo, I remembered what I hated about console games and why I turned to computer games so long ago. Consoles suck because they are 100% linear, have next to no replay value, and difficulty is derived from a simple equation of how much more HP a boss has and how many times you have to deal damage to it before it kills you. I tried to keep on playing to see what the end cinematic would look like, but I lost all interest in continuing on.
Rating - Low