Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Road (Drama 2009)

For a post-apoc movie, this one was kinda shit and hella slow. The story never tells you what happened to the world, so the whole time you are left wondering. Unfortunately Charlize was only available in flashbacks, so we were only left with Viggo trying to keep a fucking dumb-as-nails kid from getting into trouble.

I mean you would think that during your whole life if you were on the run and starving that you would understand that it's everyone for themselves. Him wanting to help every person who came by was oh so annoying like he was purposely trying to be a saint.

There was one disturbing scene where this black dude steals the main peeps' cart and is held up by gunpoint when they catchup with him. I really didn't see the reason for requesting that the guy strip down to his birthday suit and just leaving him. It was humiliating and seemed very mean and out of place.

Anyway, this movie was just slow...very very slow. If the peeps had a purpose for traveling then maybe it would've had more meaning but it did not and the end was pretty blah too. I'm sure that the kid got eaten quickly afterwards.
Rating - C

Thursday, January 21, 2010

G-Force (Animated 2009)

It's kinda sad to see Disney pumping out shit that's on the same level as Madagascar... Yeah this movie pretty much sucked. It had a very PC mix of ethnically diverse guinea pigs as main characters...that should tell you something right there. Oh so forced. The animation was fine but the dialogue was lame and entertaining to only a very young demographic. I don't think I would've even liked this film if I were ten...I really don't.
Rating - D

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Time Traveler's Wife (Romantic Drama 2009)

Eh, this film wasn't all that impressive. Both actors were good but the story just didn't "get" me. Maybe it was the whole time traveling business and it having kinda a non-linear timeline but yeah...it felt quite disconnected.

I think the purpose of the story was to show how the main chica was a "strong woman" when it came to having to deal with her husband or perhaps it was to show how flaky men can be? lol. Anyway it was definitely not solid.
Rating - C

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Carriers (Thriller Drama 2009)

So on first glance this movie may seem like some horror flick but it wasn't at all. Even having me label it as a thriller is stretching it a bit.

The film follows around 4 peeps who are fleeing a pandemic virus that has killed off the majority of the population. The story is really about surviving and what people will do in order to succeed in it. The difference between this film and maybe a zombie one is that after people get sick, they just get more sick and die like Ebola or something. They don't turn aggressive or lose their marbles or nothing.

I'll just ruin it for you since I doubt many people will watch it. In a nutshell one person gets sick and the group ends up abandoning that person. Later another person gets sick and one brother ends up shooting another. In the end two peeps make it and are still alive but they are "alone" because they kinda gave up a part of their humanity to get there.

I personally don't see what's up with the whole drive to survive...I mean if everyone I knew and cared for was sick and was destined to die, I'm sure I would try to make it, but I'm also damn sure I wouldn't ditch peeps just to raise my chances of surviving by maybe a few percentage points. Now if peeps turned into zombies that's a whole different set of beans...

One thing I did learn from this flick was that having firearms in a post-apoc world = you surviving longer, and that (me) needing to clean corrosive ammo in order to maintain a rifle = bad news when all resources become scarce.
Rating - C

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Dead City by Joe McKinney (Book 2006)

This was the latest zombie book that I just finished. It wasn't too shabby, but a little bit too action-y. The writing was indeed a stark difference compared to Day by Day Armageddon. This book was more quick-paced and spanned only one day. This was good in some regards but in others it wasn't because it doesn't seen as realistic. I mean Day by Day had a lot of downtime, something that a normal person would have...a lot of time to think and ponder.

This book followed around a cop as he fought to survive the aftermath so maybe all this stuff could've happened to one person...but I still don't think an average cop would be all gung-ho about it all. Most people would ponder their situation and try to survive in a safe-as-possible manner without getting bitten. Even at the end of the book the main character did not know that the zombies were attracted to noise. I mean seriously...because of this fact he was usually surrounded and running away which, of course, equates into more action. That lack of realism was kinda a downer but the book was still ok, just not one of the better ones. One thing I did learn was that being in an urban environment when shit hits the fan != a good idea.
Rating - Mid

Hua Mulan (Foreign Chinese War Drama 2009)

So this movie was the Chinese take on the legend of Mulan, and no there was not a talking dragon in it either.

The movie was probably as good as one of the better Chinese war flicks that I've reviewed here. It had a good amount of action, drama, visuals, etc. There wasn't really anything negative about it other than the fact that it was a tad slow, and slow movies where you are reading subtitles all day long makes it a bit tiring.
Rating - B

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

The Ugly Truth (Romantic Comedy 2009)

I totally called it on this one. While watching this flick through to around 80%, I said to myself, "I bet this was written by a girl". And guess what? I was so right. Yeah this movie was one of those that tried a little too hard to be hilarious like Knocked Up or any comparable film. Yes I know that Katherine Heigl was in that movie too but that's just a coincidence.

It's a very weird thing to watch a film, laugh at a few scenes, and then start thinking that the diction used or timing was a little "off" or unnatural. Afterwards you start seeing more of this like it being a writing pattern and then you make the prediction that guys don't talk like that, thus this film was not written by a guy.

Anyway, the movie was humorous at times but again, it tried to be crude and raw in a weird way and that just made it peculiar. The rest of the plot was your stereotypical romantic comedy with no bonus add-ons.
Rating - C

Fighting (Action 2009)

So in you in the mood to watch a piece of shit? Bam! Here you go. Yes this was my brother-in-law's special New Year's evening pick lol. But to cut him some slack I bet the Redbox was probably out of anything else worthwhile.

Boy...this movie was just like the preview...pointless and boring. They actually tried to make a story out of it if you can believe that. One thing that annoyed me was that in almost every other scene, Terrence Howard looked like somebody just stepped on his heart. You know...the pained look you would get if you just spent all night making a toothpick house and some prick just picked it up and tossed it to the ground.

After watching Avatar it's very hard to imagine how any company with money would've approved such a lame story.
Rating - D